I arrived 2 hours before festivities started so I could tailgate. I had a cooler full of Sam Adams, and a miniature grill to cook hot dogs. I'm not going to lie, by the time the Derby started I was a little tanked. The Derby started at 1.00pm. As I walked into the arena, the security guard asked me if I had been drinking. I replied " Of Course I have been drinking, its a god damn roller derby." He then told me to keep myself under control, and he didn't want any problems out of me. The derby started right on schedule, and I was loving all the action. I'm not going to lie though, I have no idea how a Roller Derby works, or the rules involved. I just like watching the women beat each other up on the track. There were about 6 viscous hits in the first 4 minutes of action. One of the girls was trailing the pack a little and got upended and her skates flew off. I got up and screamed " YEAH THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT BABY!" About 5 minutes later 2 of the females started fighting. I started to scream " YEAH GET HER!, BEAT HER ASS!!"..
At that point, the security guard approached me and told me to quiet down. I asked the guy what the hell his problem was, and to stop harassing me. He told me that I was being obnoxious and that was in violation of roller derby fan rules. What the hell? Roller Derby FAN RULES? What the hell are those, and where did they come from?
So I decided I had enough. I told that SOB to kiss my ass. I ran down to the roller track; I pushed the first girl I saw down to the ground, and stole her roller skates. I then started to skate ferociously around the track, knocking down every roller bitch that got in my way. By the time I got around the track two times, I cleared out about 96% of the competition.. The only girl left was about the size of an NFL LB, and she looked really mean, but that didn't scare me. As she came around the bend, I decided to go low. I went down and started to go after her knees, but suddenly she jumped up and landed on my back with a fierce elbow blow. I was down, and out of it.
The next thing I remember was being tossed out to the parking lot. They told me I was banned from all future roller derby events. I got into my dodge stratus and drove home
At that point, the security guard approached me and told me to quiet down. I asked the guy what the hell his problem was, and to stop harassing me. He told me that I was being obnoxious and that was in violation of roller derby fan rules. What the hell? Roller Derby FAN RULES? What the hell are those, and where did they come from?
So I decided I had enough. I told that SOB to kiss my ass. I ran down to the roller track; I pushed the first girl I saw down to the ground, and stole her roller skates. I then started to skate ferociously around the track, knocking down every roller bitch that got in my way. By the time I got around the track two times, I cleared out about 96% of the competition.. The only girl left was about the size of an NFL LB, and she looked really mean, but that didn't scare me. As she came around the bend, I decided to go low. I went down and started to go after her knees, but suddenly she jumped up and landed on my back with a fierce elbow blow. I was down, and out of it.
The next thing I remember was being tossed out to the parking lot. They told me I was banned from all future roller derby events. I got into my dodge stratus and drove home
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