Today was an interesting day. I got out of class at 11.30am. I was supposed to meet my land lord for lunch at noon. We planned to discuss my late rent payment this month, and future possible late payments. I was waiting to cross Cybertown Avenue, and It was much busier than normal, so I stood there waiting for the crosswalk to change. I zoned out thinking about the roller derby: Where did I go wrong? How many beers did I drink? The crosswalk changed, and I started to walk. At that point, I realized that there was a 1976 beetle, with American flags painted all over it, roaring up the street and straight towards me, without any intent of stopping. I literally had to dive out out of the way. Thank God my reflexes are still intact. I hit the ground with a loud thump.
I had a pile of dirt swoop up in my eyes and nose; the loud roar of the beetle passing by was still screaming in my ears. I got up and rubbed my eyes and dusted myself off. I continued on my path.
The restaurant was about one block away, and I didn't think anything else could go wrong. Right at that moment, this guy with a styrofoam sword, wearing a hooded robe with a rope belt, came running out of a shrub bush about 30 yards away. He was screaming " I am the GRAND WIZARD from Nardia!" I thought, oh great. When he was about 15 feet from me, he screams " You shall bow before me now!" .. I said "F c K you." I then proceeded to attack him with my version of the Bald Bull charge, and he hit the deck immediately. I didn't have anytime to waste on this guy; my landlord was probably already waiting at the restaurant.
When I arrived at the restaurant, my landlord wanted to know why my clothes were all dirty. I told him it was none of his business and it was time to get down to business. My landlord always tries to act like he has control of the situation. Initiating authority is important in negotiations. We both ordered steak dinners and pints of Sam Adams. After an hour and a half of intense negotiation, I decided to just give him the months rent, under the agreement that I could be 3 days late the next 2 months. When he went to the bathroom, I decided it was a good time to take off.
I had a pile of dirt swoop up in my eyes and nose; the loud roar of the beetle passing by was still screaming in my ears. I got up and rubbed my eyes and dusted myself off. I continued on my path.
The restaurant was about one block away, and I didn't think anything else could go wrong. Right at that moment, this guy with a styrofoam sword, wearing a hooded robe with a rope belt, came running out of a shrub bush about 30 yards away. He was screaming " I am the GRAND WIZARD from Nardia!" I thought, oh great. When he was about 15 feet from me, he screams " You shall bow before me now!" .. I said "F c K you." I then proceeded to attack him with my version of the Bald Bull charge, and he hit the deck immediately. I didn't have anytime to waste on this guy; my landlord was probably already waiting at the restaurant.
When I arrived at the restaurant, my landlord wanted to know why my clothes were all dirty. I told him it was none of his business and it was time to get down to business. My landlord always tries to act like he has control of the situation. Initiating authority is important in negotiations. We both ordered steak dinners and pints of Sam Adams. After an hour and a half of intense negotiation, I decided to just give him the months rent, under the agreement that I could be 3 days late the next 2 months. When he went to the bathroom, I decided it was a good time to take off.
I was almost back to the school, when I heard another scuffle coming from a nearby shrub bush. The Grand Wizard came out announcing himself, yet again. " I am the Grand Wizard from Nardia! Failure to honor me will result in death from the tip of my sword!" He started to run towards me. He approached quickly, and I jump kicked him like I never jumped kicked anyone before. I have connected some jump kicks in my day, but none like this. I felt like a reincarnation of Bruce Lee. I took his styrfoam sword, broke it in half, and laid it next to him. He looked up at me and said who are you? I said "I'm the ProBaseballAnalyst, Bitch."
I crossed back over Cybertown Avenue, walked across campus, and into the parking garage to find my Dodge Stratus. As I was driving out of the parking garage, I saw the American flag beetle. My neighbor was getting out of the drivers seat. That SOB. When the hell did he get that car? I'm going to get that bastard.
I crossed back over Cybertown Avenue, walked across campus, and into the parking garage to find my Dodge Stratus. As I was driving out of the parking garage, I saw the American flag beetle. My neighbor was getting out of the drivers seat. That SOB. When the hell did he get that car? I'm going to get that bastard.
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